wan2be.blogspot.com
Saturday, July 12, 2008
I fucking hate domestics they shit me to tears. SO ANNOYING ARGGGGHHH.

You tell yourself not to get angry at the small things because they aren't worth arguing about in a relationship. You tell yourself to appreciate what you've got, focus on the positive and forget about the negative. Because you know that when all is said and done and this is all over, you will not remember the stupid small things that trigger fights. You tell yourself not to let past mistakes come into new arguments. You tell yourself to be the better person and hang up and walk away before a small disagreement escalates into something big. You tell yourself all these things because you have learnt them from experience. You tell yourself these things because this is EXACTLY what happens in all your past relationships, and this is exactly the kind of thing that FUCKED THEM UP.

And STILL. STILL you try to pretend you don't care and then the moment he calls you, you turn into a tyrannosaurus-rex of verbal diarrhoea. And then you forget what you're talking about so you start bringing in things that happened ages ago. And then before you know it, you've listed everything he's done wrong in the past 15 years of his life in about 15 minutes. And still you're not finished... The voice of reason in your head tells you to hang up because you don't mean what you say and that you're just going in circles, but you push onwards. And another 15 minutes past and it's still you talking about the same things you already talked about for 15 minutes before. And then he suggests you take a breather and go calm down and talk later and you click it and then it's HOW IGNORANT ARE YOU YOU DON'T EVEN CARE WHAT I HAVE TO SAY etc etc etc.

And the next day when you're holding hands and smiling at him smiling at you, you remember last night and feel the biggest tool in the world.

But don't worry, it's not just you. It happens to the best of us.