What they don't tell you...
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Independence is not what it's cracked up to be, for women.

I was driving today and mum was saying how her whole life she wanted to be independent, she wanted to work and earn her own money so that she had the satisfaction of being able to rely on herself. I have always always admired that in my mum. Then today she told me that because she chose to be the independent one, who could work and who could do hard labour with my dad.... Her life has been hard.

Then we started talking about some women who are incapable of taking care of themselves, or working, or being independent... I expected my mum to say how useless they were and how I should never grow up to be like that. Instead she said that because she chose to independent, give up her looks and fashion and beauty for hard work. She has callouses on her hands... never painted her nails... Well she said that she can see that I'm growing up to be like her.

Her word of advice though, was to be wary. That I should not always act like I can do everything on my own because sooner or later, everyone around me will expect it from me. No one will help me carry things or do hard work because I'm a girl, no one will buy me things and no one will offer assistance. In other words, her advice to me was that even if you are absolutely capable to undertake the task on-hand, pretending to be naive and a little bit weak or stupid, will make my life a lot easier.

Finish this post up with a thoughtful quote from Chuck Palahniuk.

"You gain power by pretending to be weak.
By contrast, you make people feel strong.
You save people by letting them save you.
All you have to do is be fragile and grateful. So stay the underdog.
People really need somebody they feel superior to. So stay downtrodden.
People need somebody they can send a check at Christmas. So stay poor.
"Charity" isn't the right word, but it's the first word that comes to mind."